14 March, 2013

Why I'm not Starting a Rosicrucian Order

This started out as something of a joke, and I received the more or less expected reactions. But, seriously, I have no plans to start a Rosicrucian Society. There are at least four reasons why, three of which are even sort of good.

First, it is simply not something I could do on my own. If you look at If I were to Form a Rosicrucian Order you will see a list of things I think should be included in the instructions of such a society. I am familiar with maybe half of that list. All the alchemy stuff? Nothing. While I have a vague interest in the subject, I essentially know nothing about it beyond the most basic principles The actual practice? Zero.

Second: Time. I'm in the midst of poorly organizing a new religious organization. I'm also a father, husband, university professor, writer, book binder, jewelry maker, artist, martial artist, and steampunk. I also stand in for the tooth fairy every third Thursday of the month. Aion may be eternal, but I'm not. I can barely do justice to what's already on my plate.

Third: There are like a bajillion* Rosicrucian orders and societies out there already. Most of the public ones are either Masonic, descended from AMORC or based around the Golden Dawn. There are a few exceptions, and likely a number of Rosicrucian societies that are not public and which I know nothing about. Because they are not public. I am not convinced the world needs another group.

Four: I suck at naming groups. No, really. I have named two: the Ekkleisa Neoplatonismos Theourgia and the (admittedly fictitious) Ordo Rubeus Crux Ansata. What do those have in common? Horrible anagrams. Giant talking trees on the one hand, killer whales on the other. The world has enough problems without this.

So, that's why I'm not starting a Rosicrucian society. If you don't like those reasons I'm certain I can make up more.

*Technical term.


  1. So.... no Initiator Jayne hats?

  2. I'm going to need some better reasons. ;)

  3. I'd go with "death threats" but that probably wouldn't bother me.

  4. We all know that this is just an elaborate cover-up.


  5. Quite possibly. The question remains: What is being covered up? I'd vote for Nazi-fighting Rosicrucians, but NBC cancelled that show.

  6. Personally I think #2 "time" is the only reason I would never want to start my own rosicrucian order. I really don't have the time to sit around and write long winded diatribes about how my order is better than every other order and my order is more legitimate than every other order and everyone involved in every order but mine is really part of the black botherhood trying to destroy all humanity. I'm fairly certain there is some obscure law you can't actually have your own rosicrucian order if you aren't actively feuding with someone.